A PAIN OF THE PAST

My parents fought,
I was scared,
They decided to get divorced,
My heart cracked,
They fought for the custody of me,
I wept,
My father lost and he left,
My heart shattered into darkness,
They thought it was best for them to separate,
They were wrong,
As days pass of not seeing my parents together,
My heart and soul start to disappear,
And nothing I do will change that,
I was never happy,
though I had some smiles here and there,
these smiles couldn’t hide the pain I had inside,
I couldn’t do anything right anymore,
all I did is cry,
And one of these days I’m going to die,
Alone,
In the darkness,
As school begins I walk in like I don’t exist,
And I see people everywhere,
Talking,
Laughing together,
Knowing that they have a great life with their parents,
Ignoring me,
While I sit in the far corner,
In the darkness of their shadows,
With no light to shine on me,
With no friends to wipe the tears from my eyes,
And lover to be by my side,
Its so hard being alone,
And knowing that I’ll be alone for the rest of my long life,
With no family,
No friends,
And no lovers in my life,
They think I’m hideous!,
They think I’m a disgrace to this world!,
my heart and soul are gone,
I just don’t care anymore,
I’m empty inside,
school ends,
I walk home alone,
With no one,
No friends,
Nor a lover,
With my head hanging down like it was broken,
But really what I had was a broken heart,
as I’m dying inside,
I walk in the door,
shut it,
Walked in my room,
And rested on my bed ,
With my parents picture in one hand,
And a knife in the other,
As I looked at the picture,
I thought about all the good things that happened,
All the joys I’ve had,
My parents talking and laughing together with me,
All the friends I had,
And the love I was given,
But I looked at the knife,
And think of how much I hated my dad,
And what he’s done,
All the pain,
All the sorrow,
The time where my friends turned their back on me,
And the time my girlfriend cheated on me,
Of how much anger and pain they’ve caused me,
I hate them so much to this day,
Then I thought of suicide,
Wishing to die,
To say goodbye to all the lies,
But,
I can’t,
Taking my own life would do no good,
Leaving so many things behind,
I don’t want to break my mothers heart,
to leave my body behind,
Lifeless,
Brutally cut up,
And to make her clean it up,
As I would burn in the fiery pits of hell,
For the mistakes that I made,
all of a sudden,
The knife slips from my hand,
And a tear drop runs across my face,
But more and more kept shedding,
like a running fountain,
And the pain from my past has brought me to severe heartache,
This pain is so unbearable that I scream,
Why god why has this happened!?
What have I ever done to give you such anger!?
Why have you broken my family apart!?
Why have you taken the love of my life away from me!?
What did I do to have enemies!?
Instead of friends!?
Am I being tortured by staying alive!?
To be alone and forgotten!?
To not be loved,
To not exist!,
To be invisible,
I want to be happy again,
I want to be loved by someone!?
Please!……..
Take away! ………..
The pain!……
From my past!



By: Patrick Kelly



ik that some people including my friends have read this but i thought that since i have something that can show my fellings in writing........i thought that you guys might want to read it even though its an old poem . ^^ hope you guys liked it .